Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize