Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
