Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize