I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
