..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
