Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
