I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Drunk is not a location!
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
