I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
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