The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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