ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
