Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
is wine microwaveable?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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