yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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