i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
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