tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
