Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I just blew my weed a kiss
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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