Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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