I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
