go do what you do best...puke behind churches
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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