i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
