hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
