Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
