if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
