Who did Billy Mays play for?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
