I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize