you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
