That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
