He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize