but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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