There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
