To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
