All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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