worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
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My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
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I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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