just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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