I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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