Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
