everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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