I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
