I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
