I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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