I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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