"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
