Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
