my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize