You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize