Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
