I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize