Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
