WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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