Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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