hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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