the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
