i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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