She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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