If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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