She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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