even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
you mean i was at the winter classic?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
