suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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