I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Will exercising make me less horny?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
