dude i'm inner monologue high
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
