i was born a porn star she said
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
