i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
