That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
