We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
