Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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