The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize